I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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