Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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