he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
