You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
