Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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