There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
