M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
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