Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
