in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm getting married
To pizza
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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