I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
