do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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