i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
