I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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