those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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