Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
