I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
