And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
