It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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