planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
