meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
