that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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