and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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