I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Your penis caused this!
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