And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
