I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
