its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
