dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
