the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
