He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
