"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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