Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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