i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
last night I used snow as a chaser
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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