omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
