she woke up with a sticky ear
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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