I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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