HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
