I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
