i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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