just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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