I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
