your thong is hanging out like whoa
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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