OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
