girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
