She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
