FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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