No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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