I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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