Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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