Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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