i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Randomize