Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it

Fav 16 4653 1270
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.

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(925): View more from California

I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.

(1-925): View more from California

We just have a real special relationship.

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(310): View more from California

Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.

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(256): View more from Alabama

If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.

Fav 0 193 224
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(517): View more from Michigan

He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!

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